Konnikova Revision
Newly Developed Paragraph:
While some individuals may affirm that social media is crucial in facilitating personal connections and becoming engaged in various diverse communities, there are certain precautions one must consider before establishing whether social media is beneficial for them. Overutilization of social media can open the door to unwelcome implications, including technological enslavement, deceptive information, eroded confidence, neuropsychological issues, and an overall deterioration of communication skills. Based on my existential encounters, I have articulated that social connectivity platforms have negatively impacted my acclimation to academic and social life at UNE. In terms of technology adversely influencing my social life at UNE, I would proclaim that excess social media leaves me feeling guilty and I worry about not reaching my fullest potential. While social media is simply what you make of it, I choose to limit my use in favor of taking care of myself as a first-year college student. I find that when I utilize technology, it may hinder your growth in other areas of your life.
Original Paragraph:
While some individuals may affirm that social media is crucial in facilitating personal connections and becoming engaged in various diverse communities, there are certain precautions one must consider before establishing whether social media is beneficial for them. Overutilization of social media can open the door to unwelcome implications, including technological enslavement, deceptive information, eroded confidence, neuropsychological issues, and an overall deterioration of communication skills. Based on my existential encounters, I have articulated that social connectivity platforms have negatively impacted my acclimation. In terms of technology adversely influencing my social life at UNE, I would proclaim that excess social media leaves me feeling guilty. While social media is simply what you make of it, I choose to limit my use in favor of taking care of myself. I find that when I utilize technology, it may hinder your growth in other areas of your life.
